Are you looking for failing marriage signs? Divorce lawyers often say that marriage is like the lottery. It’s hard to win, but if you do, it’s very rewarding.
I’ve always found it amazing how easy it is from a legal perspective to get married. All you have to do is show your ID and sign a one-page form. A marriage agreement (pre-nep) is not required.
When you want to get divorced it becomes as complicated as being criminally charged with a crime.
A third party, a judge or arbitrator, takes away your ability to make decisions for yourself and your family. Suddenly they decide where you are going to live, and when you can see your kids. That’s a tough pill to swallow.
Make no mistake about it, just like criminal law, your decision-making and rights have been taken away. And if you don’t follow a court order, you can get thrown in jail.
Failing marriage signs
Each week, about fifty people in Canada contact my company looking for how to go forward with a divorce. Some of them have done a lot of research and know the process, others are completely unrealistic and are basing their decisions on divorce TV shows.
There was someone who wanted our divorce lawyers to deal with their multi-million dollar property division for $850. No thanks.
Lawyers didn’t go to school for seven years and take on student loans of $150K just to work for minimum wage.
It’s like Oscar Wilde said, “Nowadays, people know the price of everything and the value of nothing.”
I write these articles because I want to provide tips for people going through separation and/or divorce. I want to create a better legal system, where clients and lawyers can work together.
Create A Separation Plan
When someone separates, they need to create a separation plan. This is a very challenging thing to do.
What will your new life look like? Where are you and your spouse going to live? What about your children? Who is picking them up from school? What happens if one of you re-marries?
For the parent who the children don’t live with, when will they be able to see the children? How much are they going to contribute in child support? How much does the other parent need?
There will be other complex things that need to be discussed and agreed upon as well. If you can’t agree with your spouse, a third party will decide for you.
How will property and debts be divided? Is there going to be any spousal support (alimony?) From experience, spousal support can be the most contested financial issue.
People tend to know that they might have to give up half the value of their property. But when one spouse might need to pay the other spouse $1500/month in spousal support for twenty years, they are willing to fight tooth and nail. It gets even more complicated when one spouse remarries.
Get A Professional Team Together
You are going to need to deal with other professionals besides lawyers. Your tax reporting is going to be different once you are single. You will need a good accountant.
You will also need to work with a mortgage lender. It’s much harder to qualify for a mortgage on one income instead of two incomes. You might need to downsize and hire a real estate agent.
If you now have to work full time (if you were not before) you will have to hire a daycare. This costs extra money.
I plan to write more articles about plan language tips for how to get through your divorce as simple as possible. Regardless of if you need a lawyer or not, feel free to find me on Linkedin.
I can normally point you in the right direction. I’m a handy person to know in a complex situation. And if you have tried to sign a separation agreement and it’s not working, I can connect you with a litigation family lawyer or a mediator.
If you find failing marriage signs, it’s time to talk to a legal team.
Alistair Vigier is the CEO of ClearWay Law, a website that connects people with family lawyers in China and Canada. Before that, he was a divorce law firm manager for many years. In 2017 he was a 30 under 30 winner… Read More