Are you looking for a divorce forum in Ottawa? Go ahead. Help yourself. Why can’t you be your own lawyer?
The old adage of “you wouldn’t do your own brain surgery, why handle your own court case” is nothing but a false metaphor. Divorce is neither brain surgery, nor rocket science, even if lawyers are reluctant to admit it.
Nobody dies just from losing a civil case. Take an evening off, sit down with your soon-to-be-ex over a couple of glasses of wine, and put that sucker to bed within an hour.
After all, your almost-ex is a lovely person, self-sufficient, easy-going, and not at all materialistic. They fully understand the importance of both parents in their children’s lives.
They want nothing from you except to see you happy in your new relationship.
The words “I curse the day you were born” (or something to that effect) never issued from your ex’s sweet lips. Except … wait.
If your ex is as awesome as all that, and so, presumably, are you – why are the two of you breaking up?
Divorce Forum In Ottawa Ontario
If you need a family lawyer in Ottawa, you can call us below. You can also use the button below to pick a time for the lawyer to call you directly.
Book a free consultation today to speak to a lawyer. You don’t want to get legal advice from random people on a divorce forum.
The main reason you want a lawyer, alas, is not the intricacies of family law and not the boredom of filing paperwork.
The main reason is that when you are breaking up with someone after ten years laden with heartache, misery, broken promises, screaming children, hefty mortgage, her office flirtation, his one-night stand, the abominable mother-in-law.
“I would rather have my teeth pulled out through my eye-sockets than spend another day living with you,” you all but hate the very person you once intended to love, honour and obey.
There is no possibility of a truly reasonable discussion with someone who mainly wants you expunged from this earth. You need a buffer between you and the raging inferno that your marriage had become.
Nobody wants to hop into the pit of hell for free. The person willing to do so for money (your money) is called – you guessed it – your lawyer.
Getting a lawyer vs. using a divorce forum
The other difficulty that a divorcing couple is often unprepared for is that, in our world, “just,” “fair” and “legal” could mean completely different things.
Say, Alex and Blair were married for 15 years. They have three kids they agree to parent equally. But while Blair’s career took off and Blair is now a manager, Alex works only part-time and mainly looks after the children.
What is “fair” in this case? Is it that Alex’s predicament is Alex’s own fault?
Nannies and daycares are available and with Alex’s degree, Alex could have been making more money than Blair.
Or is it that Blair managed to get ahead because Alex stayed behind and held the fort? How much did Alex’s decision to stay at home contribute to Blair’s success? Why should Blair pay Alex any support at all?
And if Blair ought to pay support, then how much and for how long? How can Alex and Blair, already angry with each other, frustrated with daily flights, and still obliged to work, cook and take care of the children, work it out fairly and painlessly?
I don’t think they can. If they could, they would have done so and been free of each other a long time ago.
Fact is, if we are not talking Hitler, we are each entitled to our own “fair.” Blair might have begged Alex to return to work.
Why does Blair now have to pay for Alex’s decision Blair never agreed with? Alex could not work the crazy hours required – the children needed at least one parent at home. The cost of a nanny is prohibitive.
They could never afford all those trips Blair was so partial to if they had a nanny. The list of grievances is long – as long as Blair and Alex’s miserable marriage.
A Home-Baked Divorce: Warm and Wholesome, Just Like Mom’s
“Fair” is buried somewhere six feet under. The good news, however, is that your lawyer doesn’t care much for the elusive “fair.”
The lawyer will tell you what is “legal.” And “legal” is a surprisingly reliable concept, defined in legislation, bolstered by case law, respected by judges all over the country, and, most importantly, enforced.
“Legal” is not “fair.” But unlike “fair,” it exists somewhere other than your own head. It takes an exceptional human being to see past their personal “fair” to the more universal “just.”
But again, if you are that kind of person, you’ve stopped reading a long time ago. Heck, you haven’t even started – you are not hanging out on a divorce forum, you are enjoying the fresh air with your lovely family.
For the rest of us, the ordinary, selfish, plain-thinking normal “us,” divorces are painful precisely because we can never fully see things from the other person’s point of view.
So we are stuck going in circles and shouting “not fair” until somebody competent and impartial comes along and pulls us apart. If the person does it for free, they are your best friend.
But usually the only people willing to do it – and for money – are the lawyers.
Asking About A Consent Order On A Divorce Forum
I am very bothered by all this, incidentally.
If the world operated in a truly equitable way, the one where we could all see eye to eye, agree on what is fair, just and reasonable, I’d be the first to toss my copy of the Ontario Family Law Act, Annotated, close my laptop and devote myself to water-skiing and drawing with pastels.
On the other hand, we have come a long way, you must admit.
Whereas only a hundred years ago a frequent sign of marital trouble was “he gave me syphilis and drank away all our money,” these days the middle class mainly objects to “not enough sex” or “not sufficiently invested in our relationship.”
Unlike Anna Karenina none of us have to go under trains in the aftermath of divorce. Except, if you are doing your own divorce, it might feel like poor Anna’s train is rolling right over you, every blasted day.
In Dante’s Inferno, the second circle of Hell was reserved for lovers.
People who had fun sex and then were stuck for eternity going in a circle, banging into stone walls. I never truly appreciated Dante’s insight until I started doing family law.
Now, I see those couples whirling past me practically on a daily basis. With only each other to thrash things out with, on and on the go, bang, ouch, ouch, bang. Dante had been smarter when he took off on his trip to hell.
Ex Filed For Divorce After Advice On A Divorce Forum
Dante had a guide. The shadow of Virgil, the Roman poet, took Dante through all the circles of hell and led him all the way back up, unscathed and in one piece.
Perhaps Dante could have braved the monsters on his own. We’ll never know, he’s dead and his trip to hell had been, fortunately, only imaginary.
If you are getting divorced – your trip to hell is about to become very real. So take a leaf out of Dante’s book. Get yourself a guide. Get a lawyer. Instead of looking for an Ottawa divorce forum, speak to a lawyer.
Building A Client Relationship Instead Of Using A Ottawa Divorce Forum
You need to get legal advice before making any big decisions. When looking for legal services for separation and divorce, make sure you look for family law lawyers.
You don’t want to hire a lawyer that does real estate law most of the time. You don’t want them to make a mistake while doing separation agreements.
Also, you should understand the areas of family law. Do you know what spousal support, custody, access, and child support are?
You should have a basic understanding of family law before reaching out to a top Ottawa lawyer.
Going Through A Difficult Time
Forms of alternative dispute resolution can minimize the stress you experience in your case and will give you better anticipation of what to expect as you go forward into the future.
We will work with you to mediate an agreement wherever possible.
Having a critical agreement in place prior to getting married is crucial. Are you in need of a cohabitation agreement due to moving in with your significant other?
Also, do you need a pre-nuptial agreement for getting married? Our Ottawa family lawyers can help.
The Ottawa family lawyers are also on hand to explain the process of self-representation.
Many people are not comfortable going forward with a family law case on their own, but the attorneys are here to prepare you for that process so that you can approach court proceedings with confidence.
Instead of getting legal advice from random people on a divorce forum, contact us below. Book a consultation with a lawyer.
Understanding the Role That Your Family Lawyer Plays
A knowledgeable family lawyer in Ottawa is a crucial component of your overall strategy for family law issues. Your lawyers can explain how the process works.
This will help you avoid many of the most common pitfalls experienced by people. Our Ottawa family lawyers take your case seriously.
Further, if asked and able, they can represent you in full for the duration of your case. We know how challenging it can be to contemplate separation or other agreements.
The lawyers use their years of experience to help you proceed through the court system with minimal challenges. Finally, do not hesitate to contact an experienced Ottawa family lawyer today.
Are you preparing to head to court or to evaluate your mediation options? There’s no doubt you want to find a good family lawyer in Ottawa.
The outcome of your case affects you as well as your children. A separation lawyer in Ottawa or a divorce lawyer will play a key role. They will determine what your future looks like.
Divorce Forum In Ottawa
You don’t have to deal with family law matters on your own. It is a confusing process in trying to determine child support Ottawa or when trying to represent yourself in a divorce court setting.
Instead, let the legal experts demystify the family law process so you can better understand your legal rights. Then you can make the best choices for yourself, your spouse, and your children.
Lawyers should make you feel confident during a time in your life that is very stressful.
The lawyer in Ottawa’s services is designed to assist you through the entire situation in and outside of the courtroom so you can come to the best compromise that is available between you and your ex-spouse.
So contact our office today for a consultation.
Is it possible to have two spouses at the same time? We’re not talking about issues related to bigamy or polygamy. Did you know, that under Canadian law, it is possible to have two spouses at the same time?
This article outlines how some individuals find themselves with two spouses. It also covers the troubles associated with having two spouses at the same time. You can read more about this on an Ottawa divorce forum.
Two Spouses At The Same Time
First, you get married. This person is spouse number one. This person will remain your spouse until you get the final divorce papers.
This is true even if you decide to separate and start living different lives. Until you finalize your divorce with the court, you will remain legally married as spouses.
Second, if while separated from your first spouse you start living with someone new, this person could also become your spouse.
Enter spouse number two – your common-law spouse. As you are still married to your first spouse? The creation of the common-law relationship by living with new partner results in you having two spouses. However, it’s not against the law.
With two spouses, your family law matters can become twice as complicated.
For starters, you could end up having a spousal support obligation to two different people at the same time. Married spouses can bring a claim for spousal support after separation.
Common-law spouses that have lived together for three years can bring a claim for spousal support after separation.
If you end up separating from the second spouse after three years and are still married to the first spouse, they could both potentially bring a claim against you for spousal support – AT THE SAME TIME!
However, it doesn’t stop there. If you don’t separate from the second spouse, you can still run into financial difficulty.
Items such as insurance plans, pension plans, and estate planning become much more complicated when more than one spouse is involved.
Ottawa insurance plans and pension plans
Insurance plans and pension plans often only stipulate that you can have one spouse as a beneficiary. So, ensuring that your insurance or pension benefits the correct spouse can be complicated.
As well, ensuring that your estate goes to the correct spouse requires careful estate planning. If you don’t take proper precautions your spouses may end up in litigation over these benefits.
Keeping spouse number one and delaying the final steps of your divorce can also
(a) prevent you from being able to get remarried to spouse number two;
(b) allow your spouse to still claim survivor benefits from any of your pension plans (including the Canada Pension Plan), and
(c) they may be able to make a claim against your estate if you pass away or be entitled to a portion of your estate if you haven’t changed your will to reflect that you are separated.
Ottawa Divorce Forum
If you are married and separating, always best not to delay tying up the loose ends and finalizing the divorce.
And if it cannot be tied up because you are still in the throes of litigation or negotiations, speak to a family law lawyer about how to ensure your legal affairs are in order when it comes to spouse number two.
A family lawyer can help you to hopefully prevent you from having two spousal support payments at the same time or assist in ensuring your financial benefits are going to the right spouse.
If you are looking for an Ottawa divorce forum, consider getting proper legal advice instead. Call toll-free for a free 15-minute consultation with us.
Author: Alistair Vigier is the CEO of ClearWay Law