Discussing separation can be very difficult. During the initial phases of separation from children, it can be a hectic and confusing time for everyone.

Children specifically can have a lot of difficulties in coping with a change to the family dynamic. Changes in living arrangements and access time can be hard.

They need to get used to this instead of an abundance of time with one parent or the other. Some people want to take the lead and discuss many issues with their children before major changes take place.

It needs to be remembered that at the onset of separation, emotions are often running high. It can be easy for one parent or the other to point fingers and place blame on the other when discussing issues with their children.

This needs to be avoided at all costs! It is important to help your children understand the changes taking place in their day-to-day lives.

You should consult a lawyer first in order to come up with a suitable way of explaining things to your children.

What are the best ways to approach discussing separation with children?

Discussing separation with children can be a difficult and sensitive topic, but it is important for parents to approach it in a way that is sensitive and supportive. One of the best ways to approach discussing separation with children is to be honest and upfront with them, while also being mindful of their age and maturity level.

Children should be told the truth in an age-appropriate manner and should be given the opportunity to express their feelings and ask questions. It is important to reassure children that the separation is not their fault and that both parents still love them.

It is also important for parents to have open communication and work together to help the children transition through this difficult period.

Choosing the Right Time: When to Break the News

It’s best to avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the children and to be aware of the impact that their words and actions might have on the children’s mental health.

Parents can also seek help from a therapist or counsellor who can guide them through the process of discussing separation with their children.

With open communication, mutual support, and a focus on the children’s well-being, parents can work together to help their children navigate the challenges of separation.

How can parents support their children during and after a separation?

It is not easy for children to process and understand a separation, especially when it comes to their parents breaking up. Parents can play a crucial role in helping their children cope with the separation by providing them with emotional support.

This can be done by actively listening to their children and allowing them to express their feelings and concerns. Giving them reassurance and creating a sense of safety and security, such as maintaining consistent routines and keeping them informed of the changes they can expect in the future can be helpful.

Parents should make sure their children know that the separation is not their fault and that they will always be loved and cared for by both of their parents.

Selecting Age-Appropriate Language for Young Ears

They should also emphasize that the separation does not change their relationship with the children and that they will continue to be involved in their lives. It’s important to be aware of children’s different coping mechanisms and support them through their unique processes.

It’s also helpful to consider seeking professional help such as counselling or therapy. A therapist can provide guidance to both parents and children on how to cope with the separation, and how to talk to each other about their feelings.

Parents should remember that the key to helping children cope with a separation is to maintain open lines of communication and create an environment of mutual support and understanding.

What are common mistakes parents make when discussing separation with children?

Discussing separation with children can be a difficult task and it’s important for parents to be mindful of the mistakes they can make while having this conversation with them.

One common mistake is being too vague or avoiding discussing the separation altogether, this can create confusion and uncertainty for children. It can also be counterproductive, children tend to use their imagination to fill in the blanks and that might lead to a worse outcome.

Another mistake parents make is exposing children to adult-related issues such as financial problems, or court proceedings related to their separation, this can be overwhelming for children and can cause unnecessary stress. It can also cause them to feel guilty or responsible for their parent’s problems.

Addressing Common Concerns: What Children Often Ask

It’s also important to avoid using children as messengers or sounding boards for adult-related issues, this can put children in a difficult position and can damage the trust in the relationship with their parents.

Parents should also avoid speaking negatively about the other parent in front of the children, this can create confusion and split loyalty.

Parents should be mindful of the timing of the conversation, bad timing can cause children to feel even more confused and overwhelmed, it’s best to avoid discussing it during a time of high stress, and it’s best to be prepared to have the conversation and have a plan in place.

It’s essential for parents to have an open mind and be mindful of the impact that their words and actions might have on the children, and work together with the other parent for the best outcome for the children.

Discussing Separation With The Children

As with many issues people deal with during a separation or divorce, both parents need to be levelheaded and have a discussion. The goal is to come up with how to talk about the subject with their children.

When dealing with younger children it can be best to keep such discussions until they are of an age where they can begin to understand what is occurring.

While each child may be at a different maturity level it’s important that the parents can work together on how to discuss their separation. This can make the process much easier for the children.

Promoting Emotional Wellbeing: Support Techniques for Kids

Is the other parent discussing topics regarding the separation of the children and presenting you in a negative light? Make sure to discuss this matter with your lawyer to help to deal with communication issues.

If this is the case you may need to take action. If the issue is creating parental alienation between yourself and your children.

It needs to be remembered that during a separation, there might be hurt feelings and high stress. The children should still be kept out of the conflict as much as possible.

Sole Custody Orders

Sole custody orders can be a hard thing to understand. Have you signed off on your ex having sole custody of your children? This does not take away all of your parental rights.

Most of the time the parent that has an order for sole custody of the children will use it as the final say. They do this for every issue and argument that comes up between them and the other parent.

In the majority of cases, such an order can provide more control of a number of things to the custodial parent who has sole custody. But you need to be aware that they cannot simply do whatever they want with the child.

Joint Parenting: Presenting a United Front for Your Child

One major point is that they cannot keep you from spending time or receiving updates about your child. A sole custody order does not act to ban a parent from seeing their child.

In some cases, access time with your child may be severely limited at the beginning of your court file. You will still likely be successful in obtaining some parenting time for you to have with your child.

You can still ask for health, education, and general updates regarding your child.

Discussing Separation And Getting Custody

Even if you do not have custody, as the parent of a child you have the right to information about their health, education, and general well-being.

Is the parent who has sole custody refusing to share that information with you?

It is likely that your lawyer will be successful in forcing your ex-spouse to provide this information to you on a go-forward basis if you have to fight about the issue in court.

Is your ex-spouse trying to force you to agree to:

• changing your child’s name
• moving with your child out of town
• travelling with your child overseas without providing you with details of the trip

You need to contact a lawyer as soon as possible in order to determine what your options are to ensure that your parental rights are being protected and enforced.

Author: Alistair Vigier is the CEO of ClearWay Law