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Ex Spouse Not Following Divorce Agreement

Spouse Not Following Divorce Agreement

Judge Ordered Support Payments

Is your spouse not following the divorce agreement? What’s the main trouble with divorce? It’s not the shattering of illusions, your heartbreaking, or the train coming to run over the divorcé. The main trouble with divorce is – your ex. If you could divorce without the ex constantly ruining things for you, wouldn’t that be grand? Bet you have no idea how you ended up living with this unpleasant person who says “no” to every reasonable suggestion you offer, is hell-bent on having fought at all hours, and just plain hates you, though you’ve done nothing to deserve it.

How can an ex hurt you? Obviously, hitting is illegal. In a way, violence is easier to deal with because it’s defined and you can involve the police. But what about emotional violence? Putting you down. Opposing all propositions. Haggling over every cent. Setting the kids against you. Not letting you see the kids. Telling the kids that you are not worth the time of day. Making it difficult for you to communicate with the children. Arguing about the access schedule. Wanting an unreasonable schedule. Sabotaging your plans. Trying to control everything you do, even though you are no longer together. And demanding money, money, money. It’s like you don’t get to decide anything all of a sudden, yet you have to pay for the privilege non-stop.

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So how do you deal? Short of inventing the time machine and never speaking to the nasty piece of work ten years ago? Your first impulse is to take the ex to court. After all, the ex is behaving unfairly – not letting you be with your kids, fighting with you, emotionally abusing you. Surely, a judge would see that? Actually, no. The judges do not deal with “nasty” and “unfair” all that much. The judges care about “legal.” “You will never see your kids,” is illegal.

But “Sure, you can see the kids. You can have them Tuesday and Thursday nights. Tuesday is soccer and Thursday is ballet. So you have to drive them across town, sit around for three hours and pick them up, then you can give them a bit of supper and they go straight to bed,” looks like access. It isn’t real access, because on your nights you should be the one deciding what the kids do, but it’s access technically. Just not access you can live with.

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Get Legal Advice From A Top Family Lawyer

I suggest that, in this situation, you get a lawyer. Not to go to court, no. You probably don’t want to go court with something that’s not outright illegal. It would cost you a ton of time and money and not get you back all that much. The same goes for mediation. The mediator has no power to make you agree.

But the lawyer has the power to reach out to your ex, explain the consequences of going to court to your ex – financial and emotional – and be believed. “I will take you to court” is a pretty empty threat most of the time. “Here’s my lawyer,” quite miraculously, makes the ex sit up and listen. Even if your ex is not afraid to act like a jerk to you, anyone but a complete psychopath tends to reign in their bad behavior when dealing with a stranger who is taking notes.

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The other mistake you are making, when dealing with the unpleasant ex, is believing that you can somehow make them see the error of their ways. That, if you explain how much they are hurting you, they will stop. Think about it. You could not get that person to behave nicely while the two of you were still together. What makes you think you’ll be more successful now? The advantage of having a lawyer is that your lawyer has no illusions about your ex and no expectations. The lawyer understands what can be enforced and how your ex can be made to behave. But, as far as your ex is concerned, your lawyer has no feelings that would cloud judgment (well, one hopes). By hiring a lawyer to deal, you are also saving yourself heartache and disappointment.

Hire A Law Firm To File A Motion

And lastly, the lawyer is there to save you from yourself. You know what has gone on in your relationship and what is and isn’t the fairway for your ex to behave. Where you go wrong is assuming that what is fair in the context of your relationship is also what is fair in our legal system. Common law is a minefield because it had been shaped by years of arguments and policy-making.

Before you build expectations and risk having them not met, it would really help to know what you can realistically expect. In other words – get legal advice. Only then, if your expectations are realistic and your ex knows that court is a very real possibility, you might reach a resolution you can live with. And – here’s the best part – once it’s done, you never have to deal with your ex again. Isn’t that something to look forward to?

If your spouse is not following the divorce agreement, call us below. Also, see our videos to learn more about family law.

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Spouse Not Following Divorce Agreement FAQ

Do I need a family lawyer?

It will depend on your situation. The best thing for you to do is to get a free consultation with a lawyer. You can then learn about the process and the costs.

Does legal aid help with custody cases?

Legal aid does cover family law cases if you are low income. Keep in mind that many clients on legal aid do not get the same attention as regular clients. Many legal aid lawyers have hundreds of clients at the same time!

Is family law provincial or federal?

It’s actually both. That is what makes it so confusing. Every province has their own provincial laws. But the Divorce Act also applies (and is federal.) You have to learn at least two Acts for family law.

What questions should I ask family lawyer?

It’s better to tell the lawyer about your case and answer the lawyers questions. Let the lawyer determine what is important in your case. They know what the courts will want to see.

At what age can a child decide where they want to live?

Each province has their own laws. There can be other complications as well if the child has a handicap. Common ages are 18 or 19 years old.

What are my legal rights in a divorce?

You have a lot. There is a provincial Act and a federal Act that determines your rights and obligations You should definately speak to a lawyer about this question.