Judge Ordered Support Payments

Is your spouse not following the divorce agreement? What’s the main trouble with divorce? It’s not the shattering of illusions, your heartbreaking, or the train coming to run over the divorcé. The main trouble with divorce is – your ex. If you could divorce without the ex constantly ruining things for you, wouldn’t that be grand? Bet you have no idea how you ended up living with this unpleasant person who says “no” to every reasonable suggestion you offer, is hell-bent on having fought at all hours, and just plain hates you, though you’ve done nothing to deserve it.

How can an ex hurt you? Obviously, hitting is illegal. In a way, violence is easier to deal with because it’s defined and you can involve the police. But what about emotional violence? Putting you down. Opposing all propositions. Haggling over every cent. Setting the kids against you. Not letting you see the kids. Telling the kids that you are not worth the time of day. Making it difficult for you to communicate with the children. Arguing about the access schedule. Wanting an unreasonable schedule. Sabotaging your plans. Trying to control everything you do, even though you are no longer together. And demanding money, money, money. It’s like you don’t get to decide anything all of a sudden, yet you have to pay for the privilege non-stop.

So how do you deal? Short of inventing the time machine and never speaking to the nasty piece of work ten years ago? Your first impulse is to take the ex to court. After all, the ex is behaving unfairly – not letting you be with your kids, fighting with you, emotionally abusing you. Surely, a judge would see that? Actually, no. The judges do not deal with “nasty” and “unfair” all that much. The judges care about “legal.” “You will never see your kids,” is illegal.

But “Sure, you can see the kids. You can have them Tuesday and Thursday nights. Tuesday is soccer and Thursday is ballet. So you have to drive them across town, sit around for three hours and pick them up, then you can give them a bit of supper and they go straight to bed,” looks like access. It isn’t real access, because on your nights you should be the one deciding what the kids do, but it’s access technically. Just not access you can live with.

Get Legal Advice From A Top Family Lawyer

I suggest that, in this situation, you get a lawyer. Not to go to court, no. You probably don’t want to go court with something that’s not outright illegal. It would cost you a ton of time and money and not get you back all that much. The same goes for mediation. The mediator has no power to make you agree.

But the lawyer has the power to reach out to your ex, explain the consequences of going to court to your ex – financial and emotional – and be believed. “I will take you to court” is a pretty empty threat most of the time. “Here’s my lawyer,” quite miraculously, makes the ex sit up and listen. Even if your ex is not afraid to act like a jerk to you, anyone but a complete psychopath tends to reign in their bad behavior when dealing with a stranger who is taking notes.