Most people would agree that having a prenuptial agreement (marriage agreement) is a good idea. Yet most people don’t know how to talk about prenuptial agreements.

The idea of speaking about divorce while you are planning a wedding seems like a bad idea.

I often tell people who are planning to get married that a prenup is like house insurance. You don’t buy house insurance because you think your house will burn down.

When two people decide to get married, they enter into a partnership that encompasses every aspect of their lives, including their financial affairs.

While it’s not a conversation that many couples relish, discussing prenuptial agreements is a crucial step in ensuring that both parties are protected and that there are no misunderstandings or legal issues in the future.

Discussing a prenuptial agreement

The prospect of discussing a prenuptial agreement can be daunting, but by following a few key steps, the process can be much less stressful. The first step is to approach the conversation in a calm and respectful manner.

Acknowledging that it’s an uncomfortable topic but that it’s important to discuss can help set a positive tone. It’s also important to remember that prenups are not a reflection of a lack of trust or commitment in the relationship, but rather a practical and necessary step for many couples.

The second step is to be transparent and open about your financial situation. This includes discussing your assets, debts, and financial goals. Being honest about your finances can help to ensure that both parties have a clear understanding of what they are agreeing to in the prenup.

Significant impact on your future

The third step is to consult with a lawyer. A prenuptial agreement is a legal document that can have a significant impact on your future, so it’s essential to have a professional review of the document and ensure that it is legally valid and enforceable.

Having separate legal representation can help to ensure that both parties have their best interests represented.

The fourth step is to discuss the terms of the prenup thoroughly. This includes addressing issues such as property division, spousal support, and any other financial matters that may be relevant. Both parties should have a clear understanding of what is being agreed to and feel comfortable with the terms of the prenup.

The fifth and final step is to consider the future when discussing a prenup. It’s important to think about how the prenup will impact each party in the event of a separation. Additionally, it’s important to consider any potential changes in financial circumstances, such as an inheritance or a change in employment.

Are prenups a good idea?

Prenuptial agreements are subjective matters that depend on each individual relationship’s circumstances. For couples with significant assets or financial obligations, a prenup can be a useful tool to secure their interests and avoid future conflict.

It outlines the division of assets and liabilities in the event of a legal separation, providing clarity on matters such as property division and spousal support.

Prenups are not for everyone and may be viewed as a lack of trust or commitment in the relationship. In some cases, the legal default rules in a state may suffice for those without significant assets or debts.

Couples should consider seeking the advice of legal and financial professionals and approach the conversation with respect, honesty, and transparency if they decide to create a prenup. The decision should be made after careful consideration of the couple’s unique situation.

What should a woman ask for in a prenup?

It is essential to keep in mind that prenuptial agreements are not limited to any specific gender, and both partners should disclose their financial situation to establish a fair and transparent agreement. A prenup is a legal agreement that details the division of assets and debts in case of a divorce or legal separation.

To protect their financial interests, women may wish to include clauses that secure their assets, especially if they have significant financial resources. Conversely, if a woman decides to support her partner’s career or leaves her job to care for children, she may want to ensure that she is compensated fairly if the relationship ends.

If a woman is concerned about her partner’s financial habits, such as their ability to accumulate debt, she may consider adding provisions that safeguard her from being responsible for her partner’s financial liabilities.

It is crucial to understand that a prenuptial agreement is a personalized agreement that should reflect the couple’s specific circumstances.

Famous lawsuits over prenuptial agreements

Prenuptial agreements have become increasingly popular in recent years, especially among couples with significant assets or financial obligations. However, even with a prenup in place, conflicts may arise over its terms or validity. Here are some notable lawsuits involving prenuptial agreements:

In 1985, director Steven Spielberg and actress Kate Capshaw signed a prenup outlining how their assets would be divided if they divorced. After their separation in 1989, Capshaw challenged the agreement, claiming she had been coerced into signing it.

After a protracted legal battle, a judge ruled in favour of Spielberg, upholding the prenup and dividing the assets as specified.

A long legal fight

In 2011, reality TV star Kim Kardashian and NBA player Kris Humphries filed for divorce after only 72 days of marriage. Before the wedding, they signed a prenup determining how their assets would be split in the event of a divorce.

However, Humphries contested the agreement, claiming Kardashian had fraudulently induced him to sign it. After a long legal fight, the court upheld the prenup and divided their assets accordingly.

When Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos and author MacKenzie Scott divorced after 25 years of marriage in 2019, they did not have a prenup, so their assets were subject to division under Washington state law.

The couple reached a private settlement in which Scott received 25% of their Amazon stock, valued at around $36 billion. This settlement made Scott one of the wealthiest women globally and prompted discussion about prenups’ role in high-net-worth divorces.

Talk About Prenuptial Agreements – Discuss Earnings

In 2004, NYPD officer Tabatha Gaynor sued the city, alleging that her prenup was invalid because her husband had fraudulently induced her to sign it.

Gaynor claimed that her husband had told her that the prenup was a standard form to protect his assets, but he used it later to deny her a portion of his earnings during their marriage. A judge eventually ruled that the prenup was valid and that Gaynor had no right to her husband’s earnings.

These prominent cases demonstrate the potential complexity and emotional intensity of prenuptial agreements and their enforcement. It is critical for couples to carefully assess their financial situation and work with legal experts to create a prenup that is equitable, transparent, and legally binding.

How to avoid signing a prenup

Prenuptial agreements are a personal choice that couples should make for themselves. If you are uncomfortable with the idea of signing a prenup, there are several steps you can take.

It’s crucial to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about your concerns, financial situation, and expectations for your marriage. Secondly, seek legal advice from a family lawyer to understand your legal rights and options.

A lawyer can also help you comprehend the potential consequences of not signing a prenup and the laws governing marital property in your state or country. If a prenup is not suitable, consider alternative options for protecting your assets, such as creating a trust or signing a postnuptial agreement.

If your partner is insistent on a prenup, consider negotiating the terms to ensure that the agreement is fair and equitable. Lastly, take your time to understand the terms of the agreement and seek advice from a financial planner or trusted advisor.

It’s like buying insurance

You purchase the insurance just in case something happens. Insurance is part of risk management, and a marriage agreement (prenup) is the same thing.

The marriage agreement is one of the most common things that people forget when planning a wedding. Around 50% of married people are getting divorced, so you should have the prenup in place before getting married.

This should be done at least before you get married. If for some reason you couldn’t do this, it’s still possible to do the agreement after being married.

You should not create the agreement within a month of getting married, because of the legal concept of “duress.” Duress is explained further in this article.

Talk About Prenuptial Agreements

It’s also important to have the agreement properly done, with independent legal advice provided by a lawyer.

If the marriage agreement is not a valid contract and is not witnessed, it might not be considered valid by a family judge. There are many other things that can make a domestic agreement invalid.

If you need to speak to a family lawyer about how to talk about prenuptial agreements, or to get one created, contact us.

Family lawyers can also help you challenge a marriage agreement if it is not created properly.

Talk About It Sooner Than Later

Talk about getting a prenup long before the wedding. It should be discussed even before you propose. See how your partner reacts when you say you want one.

If protecting yourself is important to you, and your spouse doesn’t agree, reconsider proposing. Find someone that values how you feel about finances and risk management.

Talk About Other Subjects as Well

Set aside some time to talk about important topics. Perhaps you can have a talk over a glass of wine or during dinner. Say you are taking this relationship seriously, and you want to spend your life with them.

But there is a list of things to discuss before getting married. Maybe you want to talk about how many children you want.

Maybe you want to discuss where you want to live. There are several important things to discuss before getting married. Don’t make the marriage agreement the only subject.

You need to get used to talking about tough subjects if you have children. What happens when you need to create a will for your children?

Don’t Make the Conversation One-Sided

There might be a few things that are on your partner’s mind as well. They might want to talk about who would get custody of the children if something were to happen.

They might want to talk about whether religion will be pushed on the child or not. If yes, which religion?

These are very important topics to discuss before getting married to someone. Having these conversations will reduce the chance of you getting divorced.

Find A Fun Way to Share Divorce Horror Stories

You can watch a documentary or a news clip about divorces that cost hundreds of thousands (or millions) of dollars.

The fact is that the average divorce that goes to trial costs each spouse around $20,000. Find a way to share these facts with your spouse. No one wants to spend $20,000 on a family lawyer if possible, to avoid it if they can avoid it.

Explain How This Benefits Your Spouse

If you are the higher income earner, explain that you are willing to offer spousal support, child support and perhaps a percentage of the property.

Having this explained upfront, and agreed upon, makes it less risky for your spouse if things don’t work out. Otherwise, your spouse would have to pay a lawyer $350/hour to negotiate with you if you got divorced.

Clarity is always a good thing in family law. Talk about prenuptial agreements today and save potential stress many years from now.

Talk About Prenuptial Agreements

Prenups are tough to talk about for most people. If people can get to the table and start talking to each other honestly, it improves the relationship. Plenty of times during dating these hard conversations come up anyway.

But normally the topics don’t involve money as it doesn’t seem appropriate. And there is nothing less romantic than getting lawyers involved at the same time as planning a wedding.

You don’t want to lose 50% of that inheritance from your parents. What is the lesser of two evils? Having an awkward chat about money, or losing half of something you didn’t want to give up?

A prenup ruined my relationship, what should I do?

It’s important to take some time to reflect on the situation and identify the underlying issues that led to the breakdown.

If you believe that the prenup was the primary cause of the relationship’s breakdown, seeking legal advice can help you understand your options.

A lawyer specializing in family law can review the prenup’s terms and advise you on how to challenge or renegotiate the agreement. However, it’s important to remember that this can be a lengthy and emotionally draining process.

If you feel that the underlying issues in your relationship were not related to the prenup, it’s advisable to seek the guidance of a professional therapist or counsellor. They can help you identify and address unresolved emotional or relational issues, and work towards rebuilding trust and communication in your relationship.

Talk About Prenuptial Agreements

In any case, it’s essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being and take the time you need to heal and move forward. It may be beneficial to take a break from dating or relationships for a period of time to focus on self-care and personal growth.

It’s also important to recognize that not all relationships are meant to last, and it’s okay to let go of a relationship that is no longer healthy or fulfilling.

Moving on from a relationship can be difficult and painful, but it’s often the best choice in the long run for both parties involved. Remember to seek support from trusted friends and family, and focus on your own personal growth and well-being.