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The Challenges of Two Homes for Children

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Published by:

James Turner

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Reviewed by:

Alistair Vigier

Last Modified: 2024-07-25

It can be hard to make a child comfortable in two homes. Legal separation or divorce of parents can be overwhelming for a child. Besides, living in two different homes can be challenging for the child. Even for an easy-going child, moving between their father’s and mother’s houses could be challenging.

You have to change the transition so that your kid can transport their anxious thoughts into good ones. You can do that by incorporating various strategies mentioned below so that your child can live comfortably in both homes.

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Make sure that the comfort of the child is not compromised

You would have to know your child’s needs. You need to know what makes them comfortable. After discovery, it’ll become easier for you to provide your child with these needs and necessities. You could also surprise your child with little gifts or other surprises which could make them happy. If there is more than one kid, it becomes difficult to handle them. Depending on the size of your house, you would have to make sure that all your kids have their own separate spaces so that they stay comfortable in their own spaces.

That could be done by allotting them their own bedroom or a shared bedroom. You could also allot a room for them where they could do activities such as arts and crafts or play games. You could encourage them to be freer and carry out activities such as decorating these spaces so that your kids feel more at home.

Keeping a duplicate of every item would ensure your kids don’t have to carry their things from one house to another. These items could include clothes, toys, shoes, books, etc. However, some items might be very dear to your children. These items make your children happy wherever they are. Allow your children to carry these items from one house to another.

Maintain the same time-table in both houses

To maintain stability, make sure that your kids’ tasks, such as having meals, studying, and playing games, are all carried out during the same time period in both houses. This will help them be more stable. This will also reduce the children’s anxiety about moving from one home to another. However, having the same routine is difficult to achieve. Therefore, you can have different routines in both houses; however, you need to check if these routines are not fluctuating. 

Two Homes for Children

Whenever your children mention the other parent’s house and the activities that they do there, do your best to stay positive. Your children should not feel guilty about telling you about their fun at the other parent’s home.

It would be best if you respected the co-parent and their time. Respect the rules that they have set for your children at their home. Trust them, as your children would be safe with them. Therefore, while co-parenting, ensure you don’t look down upon the other parent, especially in front of your children, as this could make them anxious.

Do not compete with the other co-parent

Creating competition between you and the co-parent could be emotionally draining for your children. Therefore, avoid creating any atmosphere that could lead to disputes. The other parent might have set some rules for the children at your home. You don’t have to make your children disrespect those rules. To create a peaceful atmosphere in both homes, ensure the rules are made in both houses and maintained in the two houses. Both parents should respect these rules.

If you want to meet your kids while they are at the other parent’s house, be careful, as it might interrupt the other co-parent’s time with the children. The co-parent could spend time with your kids through video calls, telephone calls, or messaging and can have conversations.

Make sure that you don’t create any disturbance and interrupt their conversations. Mark or colour code the dates on the calendar so it is easier for your children to know when they are going to meet the other parent.

Don’t ask your kids to do unnecessary or inappropriate tasks

Don’t ask your kids to spy on the other parent. Also, please don’t make them act as a message between the two parents. Doing this would increase their stress. Instead of doing this, find a way in which you and the other parent could communicate effectively. Share your thoughts and concerns in a way that doesn’t create an argument. If one-to-one conversations are not working, you could always opt for other ways to communicate, such as text messaging, emails, and so on.

Two Homes For Children

If your children have opinions regarding something, don’t avoid them. If they want to choose a particular room for their room, let them do that. If they don’t like eating a particular dish, don’t force them to eat. Not forcing things on the child would make them feel more comfortable.

Several changes will occur for you and your children. Make sure you face those changes positively, especially during the divorce process, which can overwhelm parents and children.

Making a Child Comfortable Conclusion

Always hire the best divorce attorney for a smooth divorce process. There could be days that are not as good as the others. In those days, don’t let your children get discouraged; make them comfortable. Tell them everything will be fine, and it’ll just take a little time to adjust.

We hope you found these tips on making a child comfortable during divorce helpful.

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