What If I Don’t Want a Divorce?
What happens if you don’t want a divorce? People in Toronto call our family law firm often and ask what happens if their spouse doesn’t want to get divorced. It doesn’t make sense to call a divorce law firm if you want to save your marriage. You should call a marriage counsellor or psychologist instead. A family lawyer won’t encourage you to stay married or get divorced. You need to make that decision on your own.
If your spouse has started the divorce process, or if you feel there is no chance at savings your marriage, it is then the right time to call a family law firm. Even if you don’t want a divorce, if you have been served, you have to respond.
Many people delay reaching out to a family lawyer because they get mixed signals from their spouse. They may have been served with a separation agreement or the divorce papers might have been filed. At the same time, their spouse might be telling them “I love you” and they might still have a sexual relationship. Maybe the sexuality has increase since the divorce papers have been filed (angry sex?) Parenting responsibilities will likely continue such as dropping off the kids at school. That might seem to provide hope for the marriage getting back to normal.
Lack Of Passion In the Marraige
Some marriages lack intimacy and passion. Sometimes the couple may not have had sex in almost a year (or longer) and the spouses are feeling disconnected. Sometimes sexual attraction disappears all together. There may be a medical reason for low lobido (talk to your doctor.) It might be an uncomfortable conversation, but it’s an important one to have!
Maybe you just need to step outside of your routine. Go on vacation (I heard Hawaii is great every time of year.) If that isn’t possible, organize a staycation! Go to the spa or go to the movies. Have a date night! It might not feel comfortable at first but force it! Eventually you will get use to it and then you might enjoy it!
If you are unsure if your spouse is serious about the divorce, the best thing to do is ask them. Sometimes someone reaches out to a family lawyer just to feel heard. They have no intention of going through with the divorce. Other times they are just looking for information on how separation works. It is better to read information online (like this blog) than to reach out to a family law firm if you are not yet serious. Most lawyers do not like being asked for free advice.
No one likes to talk about divorce when everything is going well. So, if you are at the point where you are reading divorce blogs, chances are something is very wrong. You should make a list of the issues in your marriage and talk to your spouse about it.
Do I Need To Prove My Spouse Is Bad?
In Ontario, there is no fault divorce. This means that you don’t need to prove that your wife or husband cheated on you, abused you, or ignored you. There is no need to provide a reason for the divorce when you a contact a family law firm.
There is no need to “sue” your spouse if they cheated on you. Instead, divorce is a process somewhat like filing your taxes. It is about calculating debt, assets, and income.
Sometimes one spouse may be able to use their spouse’s negative behavior to gain a more attractive separation settlement. This can get very complicated, so it is best to set up a free consultation with a family law firm ASAP.
What If I Don’t Want A Divorce?
Sorry to tell you, but anyone can obtain a divorce without their spouses’ approval. If you spouse has started the divorce process, you need to reach out to a family lawyer for a consultation. You might also want to reach out to a psychologist to help you deal with possible negative emotions. Staying mentally healthy is critical during the divorce process. You will need to make tough decisions based on logic instead of emotion.
Don’t want a divorce? Try your best to fix your marriage. If it doesn’t work, call our law firm. 844-466-6529
Alistair Vigier is the CEO of ClearWay Law