Your Spouse is Cheating on You, Now What?

When you suspect or find out that your spouse is cheating on you, it can be difficult to deal with. Our family lawyers suggest that you take the time to calm down before reaching out to a family law firm. It is always the best first step to calm down, and then to ask your spouse about the suspicions you have.

If a behaviour of your spouse is bothering you (example: staying out until 1am) then speak to him or her about it. You might find out the issue resolves itself without the need of a family lawyer getting involved.

Your Spouse is Cheating on You, Now What?

Litigation is expensive, so it should only be used as a last step. Even within the legal system, there are cheaper and more private ways to deal with a family law issue, such as mediation or arbitration.

Once you have taken some time to yourself, it is important to speak to your spouse to find out their side of the story about what happened. You should note that it may take many talks before trust is regained and/or your spouse opens up about their feelings and/or actions.

Your Spouse is Cheating on You, Now What?

If you are unable to sort things out on your own, it is best to contact a marriage counsellor to see if issues can be resolved.

Here are a few things to think about:

Did they tell you about cheating or did you have to find out?

How many times has this happened?

Do you feel there is a chance that you will one day be able to trust them again? Do you even want to try and re-establish trust?

After a few months of trying to fix things, if you feel you are unable to trust again, or your spouse is not taking their behaviour seriously, it is now the time to reach out to one of our divorce lawyers.



There are three ways to reach one of our family lawyers:

  1. Book online using our 24/7 state of the art booking system
  2. Text us at 647-360-6331 (24/7)
  3. Call our toll free number to reach to our friendly receptionist at 844-466-6LAW(529)

The family lawyer will sit down with you and go over your situation in extreme detail. A plan of action will be presented to you.

There are four common ways to deal with your spouse cheating on you.

  1. Continue trying to work things out with your spouse
  2. Mediation process with your lawyer present
  3. Arbitration process with your lawyer present
  4. Go through the court system (either with your lawyer or self represented)

If you choose to self repent in the divorce court, our family lawyers offer self represented coaching that you will find extremely helpful.

Our family lawyers put together a list of tips to help you when dealing with a cheating spouse.

Read more: Toronto Family Lawyers

Family Law Tips to remember

  • It is best not to rush into any decisions about getting divorced until you have calmed down.
  • Try not be too emotional. Don’t judge your feelings, just see them as things that come and go.
  • It may be helpful to start a journal. Keep track of your thoughts and feelings day by day and see if you can improve your feelings towards your spouse over time.
  • As mentioned above, it is best to reach out to a marriage counsellor or psychologist. A psychologist can help you with anxiety and/or depression that often comes with finding out your spouse cheated on you.
  • If you do not want to see a psychologist, you can download the app “Headspace” or watch guided meditation videos on YouTube.
  • Understand that it is going to be a process. Your relationship will not return to normal in a few days. But perhaps if you resolve the issues that caused your spouse to cheat, your relationship will be stronger than ever.

Help is available from our Toronto Law Firm

“Divorce is not always the best solution. If you work with a marriage counsellor, your relationship might come out stronger than before your spouse cheated on you.”
– Alistair Vigier, CEO ClearWay Law

Our Toronto Law Firm also put together a list of common indications that a spouse is cheating. This list is based on many divorce cases that our family lawyers have seen over the years.

  • You don’t feel as emotional connected anymore.
  • Your spouse is continuously deleting their text and social media history.
  • They has multiple social media accounts.
  • Your spouse is overly defensive when asked questions.
  • The spouse seems uneasy about public displays of affection.
  • You and your spouse suddenly have a sharp decrease in sexual activity.

Suddenly your spouse seems to spend a lot more time with friends.

Of course, if one or more of these are happening, it does not mean your spouse is cheating on you.

Your spouse might have a good reason for doing these things.

It is best to ask your spouse about it in a way that encourages open discussion.

If you are interested in speaking to one of our family lawyers about mediation and/or arbitration.

Contact our family law firm in one of three ways:

  1. Book online using our 24/7 state of the art booking system
  2. Text us at 647-360-6331 (24/7)
  3. Call our toll free number to reach to our friendly receptionist at 844-466-6LAW (529)

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